goal for now? resist eating fish&co till aftr HK trip
laugh twist pout
NYSSHA TAN
ther are too mny pple i wna thank for evrythg i'v now!
top priority? definitely those tht are rly close
ther are times you dnwna talk, but thy knw how you'r feeling
20.8.08
i knw i'm being irritating for being so brief and vague in my posts. it's so not me but i feel wierd writing wad i rly feel and it's being exposed t t whole wide world. ok i knw evn it's so open and nobody rly reads it, i still feel awkward.
some may get wad i mean but those who dont, go experience it yourself.
'v been at lj v much and webcamming on msn lyk evry othr night. it's alw good t webcam w someone you want t meet up w but due t each othr's schedule, you can only do it online! how amazing technology is. i thank kels alvin jerrold for spiritg me evry night w all those funny faces which make me laugh till my mum wakes up thinkg i'm mad.
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why are so many pple driftg apart? i wna make up for all those time lost, but do you? it's impossible t turn back t clock but i still hope things will improve and not be so stagnant for t last 2 years of our secondary life. wadevr happend t all we sufferd and laughd thru tgtr? priorities maybe, or change of friends? either way, it's alw good t have you arnd bc you'v no idea how much you make me laugh which piece up my memory puzzle.
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things w xx have been great. wad else can i ask for? i'v nvr been demandg neither have you been possesive. can we go on lyk this for long? you showerg me w evrythg i ask for, me callg you evry othr night t make sure you'r not aslp so tht you can lull me t slp. issit a one-sided thing or you feel t same way too? communication is impt but v hard whn you'r gna reserve t truth and jst say things tht dont hurt. i rly wish t hear t cold hard truth so i can change, but you'r too nice t evn hurt me. why cant you hurt me whn i'v been doing tht all t time? why are you so fuckg nice you asshole. i dont have antg tht's outstanding enough t stand by you side. it's time for you t reflect bc i dont wnt t keep hurtg you you'v alrd become a drug. pls get out before it becomes and addiction. p l s.
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been reflecting a tad bit too much. gets me depressd and confused. i shldn be subjectg your eyes t so much tension, but who rly reads? t numbr maybe countable w 5 fingers but t figures dont rly bothr bc it's good t get evrythg off my chest.
'i wont stop you from leaving, neither will i force you t stay' this is stuck in my head and guiltiness overwhelm me lyk ntg else. i am sorry i'v made you feel this way
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